perpetrator support
Getting The Right Support To Change Abusive Behaviours
How Can Abusers Change?
Changes in your partner that could indicate they’re making progress in their recovery:
- Admitting fully to what they have done
- Stopping excuses and blaming
- Making amends
- Accepting responsibility and recognizing that abuse is a choice
- Identifying patterns of controlling behaviour they use
- Identifying the attitudes that drive their abuse
- Accepting that overcoming abusiveness is a decades-long process — not declaring themselves “cured”
- Not demanding credit for improvements they’ve made
- Developing respectful, kind, supportive behaviours
- Carrying their weight and sharing power
- Changing how they respond to their partner’s (or former partner’s) anger and grievances
- Changing how they act in heated conflicts
- Accepting the consequences of their actions (including not feeling sorry for themselves about the consequences, and not blaming their partner or children for them)